Thursday, January 14, 2010

My friend Lois

This morning I saw an ad for "Fully cooked Bacon" and it reminded me of my friend Lois.


A few years ago, I was called as a visiting teacher in my church to visit a lady by the name of Lois Slaugh. She lived at the Salvation Army apartments in Phoenix, AZ. I was, at first, unable to call and set up a time to visit her because she would never answer the phone for someone she didn't know. Coincedentally, I was assigned to visit another woman in her same building that was far less paranoid. I set up a time to visit with her and took my little girls over to say hello. (I did not have a VT partner in my ward there so I took my kids instead. I should also note that I never saw the first woman I visited in Lois' complex again, but I am surely grateful she let me in the building!) While I was already in the building, I thought I would at least knock on Lois' door and she if she was home. She skeptically let me in and from that moment on, we were friends. My little girls were entertaining to her and I loved listening to her go on about all that was wrong in the world while I tried to suggest a more optimistic view of things. The first day I met with Lois, she had a little porcelin figurine on her table that had broken. She mentioned how sad she was about it and that she couldn't see well enough to fix it. I offered to take it home with me and super-glue it for her, which I did and soon after that I was hemming pants for her, helping her to doctors appointments and taking trips to the pharmacy or the grocery store together (she loved buying the fully cooked bacon when it was on sale; she also loved ice cream with cherries in it). My husband gave her blessings and other relatives came to visit her with me on occasion. She was such a sweet lady with a very tough life and a bit of a bitter heart. She felt forsaken in so many ways, including by the church; I tried relentlessly to help her see that the church brought us together. It was surely a divine inspiration that led me to Lois, but I'm not sure if she ever saw it that way. I was simply her friend. Lois hadn't been to church in years when I met her and her health and attitude prevented her from returning. She was terribly sick. She had cancer in her eye and other places as well. She couldn't eat much of anything that didn't make her sick. She had to take the bus or walk anywhere she went, which in 110 degree plus heat in the summers there, is not pleasant. She got the biggest run around by doctors and insurances that you can possibly imagine. I had the impression that what was left of her family was not good to her and she'd felt much heartache by the family that had passed away before her. I smile as I think of her sweet voice and how she'd wait to pick up the phone until after she could hear me say my name on the answering machine. She also looked so cute in her brightly colored outfits that she'd ordered from her catalogs. She gave me everything the Salvation Army gave to her since she couldn't eat it. We always had to sneak it out the back because she just knew her "nosy neighbors" would gossip about it if they saw us carrying things out of the building. :) One time she gave me a whole turkey to cook that she'd been saving to prepare with her grand-daughter that kept saying she'd come visit and never did. She gave me her old white platter that I use as my "turkey platter" and I think of her every time I use it. She stiched a little flower shaped coaster, which she gave me and I hung on my Christmas tree this year. I will always be grateful for the friendship we shared for the past few years. It was incredibly difficult to tell Lois we were moving a couple summers back and so hard to leave her. She had few others in her life and even fewer (if anyone)close enough to help her. I got to visit her on a trip back to Phoenix once and we always spoke on her birthday and during the Holidays, sometimes a time or two in between. This past Thanksgiving, I was thrilled by Adam's idea to invite her to our feast while in Phoenix...but when I called, her number had been disconnected. The Salvation Army wouldn't tell me anything about her whereabouts due to privacy laws and it is very unlikely that she would have moved anywhere. She always said her health wasn't good enough to move nor did she have many places she could have gone. I drove to her apartment while we were there and all her "nosy neighbors" just sat and stared at me through the glass doors as I tugged on them wishing someone would come and talk to me. I sent her a Christmas card and it came back to me undeliverable. I think Lois Slaugh, born July 8th 1924 is finally at peace and able to rest from her ailments. I hope now she feels of the love her Savior has for her. I would have liked to have known when she left, but I am so thankful to have no regrets. I enjoyed every moment I spent with her, did all I could for her, and appreciated all she did for me. I think it would mean something to her to know that I will remember her.

To my dear friend Lois Slaugh, wherever you are, please know that I love you and am glad my life's path crossed with yours.

5 comments:

Becky said...

This post was very tender to me because I've got a "Lois" that is my friend because of visiting teaching. I love reading your blog. I always get a lift and a reminder of what it was like to be a young mom. Thanks Alyssa for being such a great daughter of God.

Becky said...

You probably know lots of Becky's and have no idea that I read your blog. It is Becky Sohm in case you were a little bewildered. Love you and your cute family - and your extended families too!

Sarah said...

Thanks so much for that. I loved reading it. You are such a wonderful example to me. I love reading your blog Alyssa, you are amazing :)

Carolee said...

This was a three kleenex post! I am typing this as tears run down my cheeks because I know how much you loved are cared about Lois, and how empty it was when you could no longer contact her. What a tribute you have given to her and maybe the only Eulogy she had. What a testimony that each of us is important in the eyes of God and he finds ways to show his love through others. You truly are an instrument in the Lord's hands and a blessing in many peoples lives.
Sure Love YOU!!! Mom

Keri said...

Thank you so much for sharing that story Alyssa! You are a great example and a good reminder how important visting teaching, fellowship and plain ol' friendship is! Thank you!